Reporting for MB2 News Channel

Good evening, I'm Breanna Mecham. Thanks for joining me for this evening's Baby News in Five Minutes or Less.

Our top story of the night deals with pint-sized consumers making a big-time fuss.

The baby-network is buzzing as 38 week-old fetuses everywhere are look to upgrade to a larger, more accommodating womb-model with more leg room. Womb experts (aka: women) fired back at the complaints, stating that "wombs are perfect for the fetal lifestyle, when the womb gets too 'small' it is time for the consumer to make a change, not the other way around."

In celebrity news:

 The paparazzi a were thwarted yet again, in a fourth attempt to catch a glimpse of Mecham Baby #2's profile. Months of effort have resulted in no facial pictures, only some rather embarrassing, but very telling, "nether region" photos. Our favorite celebrity seems to be shy, but not modest.  The public will have to wait to see the illusive Mecham Baby #2 until her premiere. 

Let's move on to the traffic report.

It looks like baby traffic is going to stay at a standstill.  According to the last ultrasound, the cervix was looking exactly the way it always has for the past nine months.  As soon as there is dilating and effacement, we can expect some headway.  MB2 News will be sure to let you know when things start progressing.

In sports:

The current heavyweight champion may soon be ripped of their title. It has been confirmed that Mecham Baby #2 is already weighing in at over seven pounds and is still growing! 

Tomorrow night's story:

Waddling; it's not just for ducks anymore.

I'm Breanna Mecham, reporting for Mecham Baby #2 News.  Thank you, and goodnight.